I SWEAR. BLOGGING MAKES MY WHOLE LIFE WORTHWHILE.

i had not touched the computer for like 3days? make that 6, with the camp.
sister was hogging it all the while.

anyways, i came here with a fcking pissed off mood. seriously, i had the intention of blogging about u noe, vulgarities &all.. but hey, i came here, saw my previous posts, & most importantly, i saw my TRUE FRIEND'S TAGS. my god, seriously, my mood lightened a WHOLE lot more. so instead, i decided to blog about these few days, &maybe, just a hint of the reason of my mood.

[the post of camp will be on an another post altogether]
came back from Kota Tinggi , Malaysia on Thursday; 22may yeahs, (:
returned home, had a nice long bath, ate like a wolf. then, surprisingly, i did not want to sleep ;D
i unpacked & tossed the clothing all into the washing machine, THEN i jumped into bed with my snacks & read Reaching For The Stars. yeahs, finished reading it. superrrrrrrrrrr nice ;D

Happy Ending, hmm. does it really exist? many people always put like 'HIM;D' or 'wangzi' on their wishlist[blogs i mean] i mean, does it really happen? love? TRUE LOVE? or just a fling, a fashion? many people have BGR jus cause their friends have them. i dont get it. whats with waiting? &anyways, how does ANYONE know HE/SHE is The One? what if they're wrong? the consequences are serious. maybe thats why my feelings are so insecure.. i trust no one, maybe not even myself. humans are so full of mistakes, so am i. so what makes it worthwhile?

okay im really dragging off.

anyways, i dozed off.. waking up @night. decided not to go out for the dinner cause my dad was really tired. couldnt blame him.. he just got a whole new project, & no manpower.. the sweat he loses for us. so i didnt want to make things worse for him. okay so i admit. i made a big fuss of it with myself. but luckily my dad was in the shower, so i quickly cleared things up & he did not have to hear none of that. after dinner, i went to bed & slept almost immediately.

the next morning, i was still struggling with myself if i wanted to go to school or not. in the end decided to go & jus left for it. ew. we still had to study. maths. urgh. anyways, i didnt pay attention. i jus played poker. thank goodness i brought it. after recess, played more & towards the end of the day, cleaned up the class..

after school just went for lunch & headed home.

okay here comes my main point.
DINNER. my dad was feeling okay , so we just wanted to have a quiet dinner out. @ first my mum wanted Ajisen, but lot 1 was full. so we headed to IMM. on the way, my brother suggested jurong west for a nice western stall. so changed destinations again. turns out the western people changed places, so we settled for just simple dinner. the food was nice, but we ate till we almost burst. lols.

okays, i dont know wad it was, but my sister just had a super black face all through dinner. everyone sensed it. even my brother told her softly, ' do u noe u have a really black face?'
i mean, wads wrong ? its my birthday, give a smile. i even tried to joke her out of it. but she stayed that way all night. zzz irritating. u ruined my birthday a few years back, remember? maybe you wont, but I do. clearly. daddy mummy found out about u joining friendster & chatting with strangers. created sucha big fuss. on my birthday too. i can never forget it. that day, i stood meekly at a side, u &dad at the computer, mummy scolding at the side. that day, only korkor remembered my existance. HE boiled me an egg, telling me to eat it. i was rather young then, birthdays were a big part of my life. &that day, i felt like i was invisible. it was a terrible feeling, so neglected. u did it once, ur not gonna do it twice. i was determined to feel happy & stay happy that day.

&thats wad made my mood go.
i apologize for my attitude today, i seriously have no mood. but i guess i'll be back tomorrow ?(:

and yes, this is for my friends, u helped me without knowing it. im really grateful.
thanks.

Jasmine; thanks, i saw & heard the song, i truely loved it(: babe, thanks a whole lot. u just made my birthday a x100 brighter!

Koofang; dear girl, i love u alot too mans, thanks for being there by my side through the Jogathon, i'll never forget that. (:

Laopo; thanks, without u always crapping with me, maybe i'll be looking like god knows what all the time, all these years, i could always count on you. i mean it, i love u (:

Sophia ; thanks dude, ur the only one who stayed on in mapling with me(: really glad of the company sometimes yeahs?

Lilian; hahs, i hope not, anyways, thanks a whole lot, really loved that time crapping in MSN yeahs? (:

Cailing; dear dear cailing! thanks so much(: im seriously missing u loads. really looking forward to the outing sometime! see u sometime soon yeahs?

Laopo; did i make your wish come true?(:

goodbye&goodnights