These days, my thoughts were raw. 

I reflected upon myself very much, though the roots of these reflections were of me viewing others first. 

Then, I thought, hey, why am I doing this?

I've discovered many new and old shortcomings of mine.

Im not trying to gain sympathy, mind you. 

Im just honestly feeling that way. 

One of my reoccurring thoughts:

People really only talk to me only when they need me. 

Otherwise, i am rarely on their mind or rather, thoughts..

Its more of a, 

"Hey, we should rope her in too. Uhm, cause we always do that? "

Or

"Oh yeah hor(a sudden flying thought), we should ask her too." 

I feel sad. Really.

I felt as if I was only visible when they needed help, be it work or personal. 

I mean, im not those crazy bitch that wants everyone to 24/7 give me a 

"Hey blahblahblah" 

thing, but i'll appreciate it if you dont out of the blue give me a 

"Hey"

on msn or whatever and suddenly the next line is 

"Can you help me ..."

I never mind helping. But honestly, dont make it that obvious can?

Never a true conversation on msn before, and suddenly your name pops up.

I guessed 80% of what people were gonna say.

Im only human, i get tired too.

Dont ever make the mistake of thinking im superwoman. 

Because im not.

I know everyone thinks its ok.

Yeah well sometimes, its not ok.

I just hope people understand that im human, I have feelings, and yeah, well, they're hurt. 

I was never the hero riding on the horse.

Im just a damsel in distress that nobody notices. 

Why?

Because there's another damsel that actually weeps and cries on the road, and anyone passing by will always lend a hand or give a smile. Some go to the extend of giving her shelter and light.

And me?

Tearing in a corner, fearing of shocked looks, yet craving the warmth. 

Then will I slap myself awake and walk to town alone.

The one crying the loudest may not be the saddest.

The one smiling the biggest may not be the happiest.

DO NOT SYMPATHIZE WITH ME. 

Just understand.

Understand that my inner self is not what I make it out to be.

AND DO NOT THINK THAT I AM DISSING THE 'DAMSEL'

I am not digging into the reasons behind the tears.

I am not saying she did it on purpose.

I am just saying it as a fact.

It did happen.