Been so busy these days. Mainly with school work.

Year 3 Poly is really a no joke period. FYP is draining so much of my time. Not to mention normal modules and classes.

Almost every hour awake is us working on FYP. Meetings, meetings and more meetings.

Sure its not all work, sometimes its fun and games as well. But behind that time, most of it is working time. Such a big responsibility, taking on the leader role. I put major weights on myself, in the hopes that people will follow my example and pressure themselves to boost forward. Its not easy, its very tiring. Almost every day, i return home late, drained out of energy. Im not saying that my teammates are not feeling the same, but personally, i think i put too much pressure on myself. -NTS.

I have to pressure my teammates & friends to perform, not only for the group, but also for themselves. FYP is a time where each individual can shine. If one person outshines another, its not going to be good.

The pressure is really on. Having to maintain the amount of work and effort in the team is hard. Each person is different. But in our course, you HAVE to do well in some parts, which are more important than another.

Unfortunately for us, programming is what we have to excel in. And not everyone can do that. Having to think of ways for each person to be able to show something is really a feat.

And at the same time, having to balance the emotions in the team is hard too. Most of them are all still very immature and playful. I have to keep my OWN emotions in check too. Mostly main to be honest. Haha.

Well, all in all its just tiring. A lot to do, in a short amount of time. People around us are saying that we're so advanced, too advanced even.

I actually disagree. To be able to do a good job, effort, time and hard work is definitely needed. We cannot afford to stroll, we are racing against time.

But not everyone will be able to understand my thinking, and agree alongside with me. Sometimes, they cannot figure out why i am so harsh on them. And i feel bad for being that way. :l

I dont like scolding people, but i cannot control my emotions at times too. My first reaction when i see something or someone doing things they're not supposed to be doing, would be anger. Anger that is hard to suppress. :(

Working on it. Wont be easy, wont be quick. But still, working on it.


And even tho its the holidays, another responsibility that i have to take on. No time to rest, catch my breath. Im not complaining or blaming my luck. I know its something i have to do, and i will definitely do it. But i only wish i have more time. Time to be able to do more things.

But yeah, even if i have that time, would i be able to manage it well? My answer for now would be no.

Ohwell. Just need to write down what i've been feeling the past few months.

"Duty means doing the things you may well regret."