More and more recently, I've been seeing so many of such situations happening in the family. 

Unhappiness, quarrels, fights, and grumbles. Which all leads to cold wars and cracks in the relationship.

Just like today, or rather, just like every year, black faces, unsmiling faces. Sharp words, hot atmosphere. I'm getting tired of all these. 

And then it hit me. In the past, I would be sad, worried and think of ways to fix things, albeit it not being my fault. Even imagining the worse situations counted as me caring for the family. Where we would go from here, what I would do if such a situation really occurred. 

But now. I am shocked at myself. Because I just realized that slowly, I am avoiding the situations completely. I am hiding from it all. If I see the problem, I close my eyes. If i hear any fights, I close the door. 

I really wonder, if it has finally gotten too much for me to bear, or am I the one that's changing? 

But really, it's so tiring. I come home in the hopes that I have a pair of loving parents to ask about my day. But instead what happens?

They are already so irritated with each other that they vent their anger on me and my siblings instead. They do not mean to have done that. But inevitably, they still do cause that harm. 

I don't know what I will do from now on. But I want to try to do the right thing. But I do not know, what the right thing is anymore.